half-price theatre

down on skid row

I love half-price  musical theatre. Apart from the odd shitty seat (I missed half of Little Shop of Horrors. The top half. Never get the cheap seats at the New Ambassador’s Theatre) it always works out pretty well. They fill empty seats, you get your musical theatre fix.

I have two friends who’ve seen Les Mis literally hundreds of times, half price all the way.

£10 gourmet meals

mmm, swanky

Lastminute.com is giving £10 gourmet meals away to celebrate 10 years of… whatever it is they do when you book online.

You can also finegle a free birthday meal for two. Yes they do want proof. And you have to go all the fuck way to Battersea. Also it’s in a butcher shop-themed restaurant.

someone call Marx

damn straight

So at least now we know the highest form of capitalism isn’t imperialism any more. It’s blind panic.

0.01p off

life changing

Asda and Morrisons are pulling the old 99p trick, except in a stingier way. A litre of petrol will now cost you 99.9p.

It’s an effective publicity stunt: que vaguely homoerotic pictures of burly truck driver types sticking nozzles into petrol holes.

above pic from lukeroberts’ flickr photostream

over a barrel

syphon here

So you know how your gas and lecky bills got obscenely high because oil went up to, like, a gazillion dollars (well, $150) a barrel? Well, now oil is only $70 a barrel and here PovertyPorn we’re still selling ourselves to pay for 1 hour of central heating in the morning (otherwise it’s too cold to get out of bed).

Why?

bogof directory

they want your cheques

An entire website dedicated to the art of living on buy-one-get-one free offers. Inspired.

How else would you find out that Tesco’ll sell you 2 Cadbury’s Halloween Ghost Biscuits for £1.39 (perfect if you need to stop trick-or-treating hoodies egging your front door) or that Co-op has giant packs of Kleenex on sale (infected yet?): 2 for £2.80. You can buy everything you never wanted. In bulk.

Go get your cheap on.

free Krispie Kremes

sugarshock

But there’s a catch: it’s experimental. And chocolate glazed. Still, free sugar is free sugar. If you live near one of the factory/cafe/ places, if you turn up about an hour after they turn the light out and sweet talk the guy at the drive-in, you get a bogof dozen. True story. At least in Enfield.

bail ME out

yeah, right

“I’M in debt too, I fucked up too, I keep the economy afloat, and bailing ME, and every taxpayer out is a safer bet than bailing out the banks.”

Although this campaign’s already failed (like ordinary taxpayers have lobbyists – or clout with politicians) it’s still a deeply comforting idea.

Glaswegian Anarchists make all the damn sense.

you’ll be rich!

aww, shit

Well, no.

But you, British taxpayer, are now the proud owner of 37 billion-pounds-worth of bank. £37 billion! Frankly, you could have done better. But, now you own the banks, you can attempt to guarantee

• they start lending to businesses again, so you get paid, other business get paid and we won’t have to queue with wheelbarrow-fulls of worthless tenners just to do the weekly shop

cheap cinema

The greasy smell of popcorn, the sticky floors, the sense that you’ve completely wasted hours of your life, hours you’ll never see again. The cinema is a tough habit to break: nothing makes a sucky summer blockbuster look better than complete darkness and a 20-foot screen.

PovertyPorn has frugal friends (you know who you are) who insist on getting a weekly film fix, in an incredibly cheap way.